Lonnie would go home when he felt like he could and spend time with the girls. I went home for a few hours toward the end of the week to see them as well. We have amazing family and friends and were able to have the girls stay with others most of the time Bransen was in the NICU.
We were able to snuggle with the little guy and hold him on day 2 it was almost scary to hold him but so comforting at the same time. He had all sorts of wires and tubes attached to him that you would basically not move once the nurse handed him to you. I became more and more comfortable with holding him, but it took time.
While Bransen was in the NICU we had every nurse that walked by him and everyone that was attending to his needs ask, where did he get that blonde hair? At first I didn't have an answer for this, but later we learned there were 2 reasons. One is my brother Jordan... he looked just like him when he was born!! Not only did everyone fall in love with his full head of hair but it was such a different color as well. The other thing that all the nurses noticed was that he was so light complected, they would turn on the lights and ask if he seemed to be breathing okay.
Dr. Brown was so good to help all of us get through this time of change and unknown. We were still trying to figure out why he couldn't keep his sugars stable on his own, they were talking about putting him on a medicine that would help this, but he would need to be weened off of at one point. This would post-pone his going home. Also they were trying to figure out why he wasn't able to figure out taking a bottle. I was trying to pump and help him get the nutrition he needed but not be able to breast feed. He had to supplement 3/4 of his feeds with fortified milk and formula. He was struggling trying to figure out a balance to sleep just like any newborn does, but he was so tight in his muscles that they were concerned with this because he wouldn't relax very easily in just anyone's arms. They had him on pain meds to relax him for this. He usually would for me or Lonnie, but the doctors wanted to see what was going on.
I came down to visit him around 1 am on Monday night, I think it was, so he was 3 days old. There were at least 4 nurses standing around him with gloves on and I was shocked and asked what happened. They said oh nothing he just lost his IV so we are putting one in his head..... At this point I was already so emotional with everything and hormones that I just started crying. The nurses just looked at me and then one of them came over to me with tissues and asked if there was anything they could do. I tried to ask why they were doing that, but I couldn't get it out. I just turned and started walking away. I don't think they wanted to leave me alone at this point. I stopped and said to the poor nurse that was helping me to the door. I promise I will be fine. This is the 2nd real cry I have had since he was born, I'm pretty sure this was a long time coming and I just need to get it out. She understood. Any mother would understand this after just having a baby!!! I called Lonnie and he just didn't know what to do to help me. I said I just needed to talk to him. I think he was in a panic because he wasn't with me and he didn't know what he could do with my hormones running wild and our little one being tortured downstairs....or so it seemed to his mother for that matter. I know, I know it is routine and he was fine, but how scary to see such a big IV being put into my child's head... It was so hard, I will just say that.... if I could have taken his place I so would have!!!